Meng & Munchkins

Five years ago, this was our  Christmas tree. I used to be ashamed of having the bare minimum for Christmas decorations. 

This isn't even the worst one; one year, it was colored paper I cut out to look like a tree. 

I wanted to forget those years. Forget they were so tough. I mean, who couldn't afford a small plastic 40 dollar tree? 

The truth is, a lot of young families can't. 

While it bothered me, my kids were fascinated with the unique designs I came up with.  They were simply amazed. It wasn't anything special in my book, but it was something incredible in theirs. 💛 

Now I look back and am humbled and proud of those times; they got us here. They gave us lessons and experiences; no matter what your struggle is, no matter what you have, you will always have each other. 🌟

Rochester, Minnesota

Conversation with my Airbnb host.

 

Host: You and the kids might like the Mayo Mansions. 

Me (inside my head): The person who invented Mayonnaise has mansions. 

Host: All the original doctors' houses are museums now. 

Me (again inside my head): A group of doctors invented mayonnaise? How big was this revolution of mayo when it happened? This must be a big Minnesota thing to claim the birthplace of mayo. 

Host: If you go straight down this road, it takes you right downtown to all the hospitals and the Mayo Clinic. 

Me (out loud): What? 

Host: The medical district in Rochester. It's where the Mayo doctors started the Mayo clinic. 

Me (out loud): Right, of course. 

Me (internally) : What the heck, Steph, you honestly thought they were talking about the inventors of mayonnaise?! 

Home. 

Usually, it's a place where you were born, a place where you raise a family. 

But I realize home is within me, it goes where I go. It can be wherever I meet my tribe, where my heart continues to beat. 

Home isn't a building, a room with four walls, furniture, and a mortgage. Home begins inside my soul, and I get to decide where it evolves and who I share it with. 

Many of you believe this is a dream come true, traveling across the country. Seeing all these new cities and states. 

I had dreams of being married for 80 years. Dreams about living in the same house my children grew up in that my grandchildren would come visit in. I thought those were meant for me, except they werent. At least not right now. 

Dreams change, people alter themselves, addresses get updated, and sometimes you notice different constellations in the night sky. 

If I take away those dreams, I allow myself to live in this one with these three incredible human beings.  the only thing that matters more than those wishes, hopes, and dreams are those of my intelligent Riddle, my wild Wolfe, and my little angel, Lou. 

Maybe my steps with them help them become confident in their own. Right now, we can claim to be homeless. But I have never felt more happiness, more love, more hope before. And I believe this is what home should always feel like, free to be, free to see, free to breathe, and most importantly, free to conquer the world on my terms. 

This is hard.

 Traveling solo with my little family is tricky. 

I feel like I get comfortable with being strong, with being alone that I forget I am. 

When there are extenuating circumstances that test me, I don't understand why I have to adjust, why I haven't learned to perceive this problem and plan for a solution. 

Because last night I realize how difficult it is to do this alone.

We had a campsite booked all weekend, yet we had to change plans last minute. Lettie got extremely overheated; a high fever threw up in the car. It was 7 p.m., and I was driving around to find a hotel safe and clean for us to stay. The humidity is heating these kids hard; the high 100 temperatures are an adjustment for all of us. 

There are multiple setbacks, things I can't avoid but know not to react poorly. Yesterday I was exhausted and felt overwhelming defeat. 

But it has shown me I am always looked after, call it God, the Source, guardian angels, matrix numerology. I am blessed to continue on; we are protected to move forward, nurtured to see the bigger picture. 

There is always a bright side; Lettie's fever broke at 3 am.

A woman smoking her morning cigarette yelled over the hotel parking lot at me, "YOUR HAIR IS GODDAMN GORGEOUS!" 

I smiled and laughed, thanking her. After the rough night, her southern compliment made all the heavy doubt rise a little bit. I'm not perfect, but at least some stranger believes my hair is.