This is Hard.

This is hard.

 Traveling solo with my little family is tricky. 

I feel like I get comfortable with being strong, with being alone that I forget I am. 

When there are extenuating circumstances that test me, I don't understand why I have to adjust, why I haven't learned to perceive this problem and plan for a solution. 

Because last night I realize how difficult it is to do this alone.

We had a campsite booked all weekend, yet we had to change plans last minute. Lettie got extremely overheated; a high fever threw up in the car. It was 7 p.m., and I was driving around to find a hotel safe and clean for us to stay. The humidity is heating these kids hard; the high 100 temperatures are an adjustment for all of us. 

There are multiple setbacks, things I can't avoid but know not to react poorly. Yesterday I was exhausted and felt overwhelming defeat. 

But it has shown me I am always looked after, call it God, the Source, guardian angels, matrix numerology. I am blessed to continue on; we are protected to move forward, nurtured to see the bigger picture. 

There is always a bright side; Lettie's fever broke at 3 am.

A woman smoking her morning cigarette yelled over the hotel parking lot at me, "YOUR HAIR IS GODDAMN GORGEOUS!" 

I smiled and laughed, thanking her. After the rough night, her southern compliment made all the heavy doubt rise a little bit. I'm not perfect, but at least some stranger believes my hair is.